Please excuse the long breaks in my blog. I am attempting to finish my book and blogging as well as Twittering consumes much of my time. You guys are awesome and I love you all for following.
Let me give you a small synopsis of what my book is about. I also want to get your opinion on the name. Let's start with the synopsis:
After an assassin kills his father and youngest brother, Tilva -- oldest son of his planet's ruling family -- faces a brutal civil war. Amid rumors that he killed his own kin to gain sole control of the government, and the rise of a powerful new dictator in the west, Tilva gets a grim reminder the assassin is still out there.
Tilva's second brother attempts to flee with his family, but the assassin hidden inside their ship kills everyone aboard, escaping planet-side. Meanwhile, the ship, haunted by the ghosts of the murdered family, jumps to its programmed destination: Earth.
The American government has possession of the ship, and is contacted by Tilva, and the new dictator. They must make an alliance to capitalize from the scientific knowledge the ship contains. Not knowing who to trust, they realize the wrong choice can begin an interplanetary war involving Earth. The ghosts of his family attempt to disclose the killer, to no avail. Now they want revenge.
With conspiracies around every corner as the government crumbles, there's only one person Tilva might be able to trust to help: the secretary of state, who also happens to be the woman he loves. But she's now next in line to take command. Has she become a scorned woman wanting his death? She warned him of such an attack, frustrated she was excluded from secret meetings. She could well be his greatest enemy or his greatest ally.
Discovering the assassin's identity has become of paramount importance -- finding the killer may be the key to suppressing the civil war, and uniting the planet. He follows his brother's ship to Earth where he'll either find the answers he needs -- or walk right into the assassin's trap.
Next time I'll tell you the title and you can tell me if you like it or not. Right, if you could give me an honest opinion about the story line, that would be great. Do you like it or not? What did you like and what did you dislike. Help me out blogger friends; I need your feed back.
Above all, remember… Stay in your write mind.
Ok, so I don't read a lot of sci-fi (actually, I don't read ANY sci-fi) but it sounds like an interesting concept. I like that you're telling it from the invaders POV (what WE would consider the invaders anyway, since we're obviously from Earth). Sounds kind of like a medieval-monarchy-in-a-crisis book...but in space. Huh.
ReplyDeleteI'm assuming this is a synopsis and not a back cover copy blurb, because if it's a blurb you're giving too much information.
And lastly now I'm curious about the title. So I guess I'll be paying attention to see when you post that. :)
I'm a huge science fiction/fantasy fan :) I hope my comments help. Writing a synopsis is the hardest part of writing a book.
ReplyDeleteA couple things jumped out at me.
(1) One thing I recently learned is that it's important in both science fiction and historical fiction to let people know right away when the story is set. When does this take place?
(2) "The American government has possession of the ship" - This made me ask about the rest of earth. What role do they play? If this is far in the future, might there be a different governing body who takes part in the decision?
(3) "The ghosts of his family attempt to disclose the killer, to no avail. Now they want revenge." - Will the ghosts' attempts at revenge play a big role in the plot? If not, you might want to take the line about revenge out to stay focused. If it is a big part, I think it needs to be explained in an additional sentence because it feels out of place. Though I like the idea of trouble making ghosts.
(4)"But she's now next in line to take command. Has she become a scorned woman wanting his death?" - Before this, I didn't know he'd scorned her. Earlier on you might want to say "who also happens to be the woman he loves and let go because he feared for her life" (or whatever the reason was). I wanted to know why they were at odds.
(5) "She warned him of such an attack, frustrated she was excluded from secret meetings." - I wasn't sure what you meant in this sentence.
I'm curious to find out the title.
Best of luck.
Marcy
www.girlswithpens.com
www.facebook.com/MarcyKennedyAuthor
Honestly... I love it. I mean, I know criticism is what really helps in these cases, at least for me, but here I only see a very intricately-woven interplanetary saga that has it all: suspense (wars, conspiracies, etc), mystery (who's the assassin?), macabre elements (spaceship haunted by ghosts), and even conflicts on the personal level (is the woman he loves an ally or enemy). That said, all adds up to brilliant. Really amazing job, Orlando.
ReplyDeleteAnother thing. These kinds of plots rarely capture my attention at all, but this is my personal preference. And I'll tell you why. They usually ignore personal conflicts and go too big too fast. I am also not very interested in space odysseys. However, the elements that did hook me about your story were: the haunted spaceship, the loved one dilemma, and the mystery around the assassin. If you ask me, even two out of those three elements would be enough to keep me reading. However, the fact that you have connected all of those elements and are willing to tell this complex story... makes me think that you are going places. ;)
The only thing you can do wrong now would be to concentrate on the big picture and forget about the small things like characterization, but I believe that you won't fall into that trap. Good work. And sorry for posting the world's longest comment... ever. :D
After an assassin kills his father and youngest brother, Tilva -- oldest son of his planet's ruling family -- faces a brutal civil war. --a bit chunky. Maybe cut out the part of him being the "oldest" as it is suggested that he is next in line by saying "to gain sole control of the government".
ReplyDelete"Secret meetings" threw me off on the first read-over. You mention her being second in command + the woman he loves so it was a pick at first between thoughts of whether it might be secret war meetings or romantic dates.
"...uniting the planet....he follows his brother's" --squinted at the "future plans" of uniting the planet switching to "presently doing" of following his brother's ship. Maybe say "He will" follow his brother's ship to Earth..."
It has my interest so far as it looks like an exciting plot that can weave together very nicely. I will be nearby to watch it unfold. =)
@Ava: This is an attempt of a synopsis. It's funny because I love swords so they do use them in battle. Not light sabers as in Star Wars though.
ReplyDelete@Marcy: Thank you so much for your input. I will totally look into correcting those areas you mentioned. So please stay tuned to see my changes.
@Lyn: SciFi is not liked by everyone because it's more of an action, war, technology type of reading, but I wanted to change that. I want to bring the emotional conflicts, love scenes, and strong realistic characters.
@S.J.: Perfect, I will start making the changes to clarify these points. Thank you!