Young mothers don't want to hear you telling them how to do things. Regardless, of how much they know your instructions must be subtle and unnoticed if you want to them to adhere. A mechanic doesn't want to hear what you think it is or how to fix it. Otherwise you can do it yourself, is their thinking. Young couples don't want to know if you agree or not with their lifestyle or how they need to save money.
My life is paved with good intension, but in the end, have my words been received that way? That is the question you must ask yourself. You want your child to go to college. What if he or she doesn't want to go? Can you force them? Not really. Even if you can force them, you should ask yourself what it will cost you. Good intensions often cause good friendships to end. They cause your children to hate you and not want to call you or invite you to their parties.
If you don't mind living without your children then fine, give them a piece of your mind. The same goes with friends. Otherwise, you may want to keep your opinions to yourself. Think before you say those words.
But, what if someone asked for your opinion? Should you tell them straight out what you think? Oh yeah, I believe you should. However, there are exceptions. If your child asks, "should I marry this person?" and you dislike them greatly, please take heed. That is a loaded question. They have already decided what they will do, they only what someone to agree with them - In which case you should ask, "Do you love him/her?"
If your friend should ask, should I divorce my spouse, again, take heed. That is a loaded question. Later they might get back together and remember your remark feeling you don't care for their spouse. Don't put yourself in that situation.
"Honey, do I look fat in this dress?" That is a loaded question. Warning, warning, Will Robinson, proceed with caution.
Do I want to live beyond my means? That's my business. Why don't I get a better job? That's my business. If I want to be a freak, that's my business. If I want to go to church, it's my business. The clothes I wear, the place I live, the car I drive, and on what I spend my money, it's all my business. Where I vacation and how I got the money, is my business.
Men fought and died for that freedom. And I will not allow anyone to mock them by telling me how to live - You too Mom. I love you, but it's my life.
You can't change people. God won't change people. God will lead us into thinking positive, and living productively, but he won't change your personality.
In the end - Everybody wants to live, how they want to live.
And remember… Always stay in your write mind.
"Later they might get back together and remember your remark feeling you don't care for their spouse. Don't put yourself in that situation."
ReplyDeleteThat is so true! I know too many people whose friends broke up with a girlfriend or boyfriend, and they said "You know, I never liked him/her anyway," whether they meant it or were just trying to make the friend feel better by implying they were better off now. Then the friend got back together with the ex, and things became awkward all around.
I tend to resent advice, unless I've asked for it.
"Honey, do I look fat in this dress?" The answer is always "NO." Heh.
I agree, any argument with another person will just leave the other person MORE set in their belief. The great thing about freedom is it gives us the opportunity to make mistakes and then learn from them. Forcing anyone to believe what you do will only make them hate that belief.
ReplyDeleteGreat post!
Never say anything negative about anyone's SO. So, we learn. :) That old saying -- if you can't say something nice, don't say anything. Pretty much holds up.
ReplyDelete