This post is about my upbringing and how it deprived me of regular everyday things. Please understand that I am in no way coming against any religious believes. In fact, I strongly believe in God. What I have issues with are some people's interpretation of those believes. Back in my youth most religious people judged in the manner in which they were taught. Therefore I understand it was not entirely their fault.
Also understand that I in no way hate my parents. On the contrary, when my father died, I felt like a little something died inside of me. My mother, who is still alive, is the kindest individual I know. Nonetheless, that Their upbringing made it extremely difficult for them to see life any other way.
My friend Amelia James and I are sharing our thoughts on the similarity of our upbringing. She is an extraordinary writer so please click here to read her blog after you've read mine.
Now here are some rules. Do not leave a comment slamming religion or your parents. You may explain what happened in your life without slandering anyone.
As beach. They prohibited me from wearing certain clothing for reasons unknown to me to this day. The first time I attended a baseball game at a stadium it turned into one of the largest altercations in our home. My brothers married at seventeen to get out of the house and escape these rules. Later, they became angry with me because to them, my parents granted me more freedom than they had. So they must have had it even more difficult than I did.
I always felt sorry for the girls in our church. They had not been allowed to wear pants and had to freeze their legs in the winter snow with only nylons to cover them. Kids in school ridiculed me for wearing geeky clothes. I could never wear jeans or sneakers. They never permitted me to spend the night at a friend's house, and I could only play outside within ear range. If they called me and I didn't hear them, there went my outdoor privileges.
You'll love this one. My parents I remember the first time I brought home a blond haired, blue eyed, white girl - Okay I like blonds and redheads with fair skin - Anyway. All hell broke loose in the house that day. I had to wear my hair the way they wanted me too. could
It was pounded into my mind that anything bad that happened was punishment from God, and anything good was his blessings. I lived in constant fear that if I did anything wrong, I would be punished. The problem was I could never live up to the standard of being good. In my first marriage, I continued to be judge by the same rules by my ex-wife. I live by everything I was taught, loved her, and my children unconditionally, and hid my unhappiness by giving myself to her completely. Only she didn't see it that way. As with God, apparently I couldn't live up to her standards either, and she asked for a divorce.
After trying to be good all my life, I decided to pitch a fit, and have a tantrum. So I got drunk. For two years. After which I had to learn how to live. I learned to forgive and understand the reasons why these people pushed this life on me against my will. In this process of learning to live, I created a bucket list. A bucket list is a list of things you want to do before you hit the bucket (die).
I was introduced to a different God than the one from my youth. I met a woman who does not judge me. I got my ear pierced, bought necklaces and rings. I got me some shorts to go to the beach, and watched the sun come up, and go back down. I drank fruity alcoholic drinks to enjoy the scenes around me, and went jet skiing. I took lessons and learned how to dance. I laughed and rejected every thought that tried to convince me of punishment for these things. I understand the generations before us, but shouldn't we be teaching our children differently?
I'm not drunk anymore because I don't want to be. I drink a glass of wine with dinner at times. But most importantly, I'm living, and not just existing.
Have you gone through anything like this? I find it therapeutic to share.
And always remember… Stay in your write mind.